What I Learned from Watching Oprah....

Her come the Judds, here come the Judds.  You know the country hit mother/daughter duo Naomi & Wynonna.  Nothing like a single mother and her rebellious adult daughter that screams Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.  This wasn't the Judd's first Rodeo on Oprah as they aired their dirty laundry many times before the good, the bad, and the ugly.  The story line goes a lil' sumpin like this:  Here you have a single mother and 2 daughters that are both equally talented, but whose self worth seemed to be caught up in how can I get mommy to see me, be proud of me, love me.  Does that bring to mind any feelings from your past?  I know I sure could identify with the young girl, now adult trying to find where she forgot to include herself, her needs, and her identity along this journey called life.  But this time, this interview was so much different....it was magical from the moment Wynonna stepped out onto that stage.

She looked on fire and it wasn't because of her Red hair, which by the way was realllllllllly red.  She looked happy and at peace with herself, her body, and the person she had become.  She was not only lighter in appearance but lighter in the way she glided across the floor with her shoulders pulled back and a smile on her face as to say, "I have arrived and I ain't going back".  As soon as she sat down I couldn't take my eyes off the tv.  I hurried up, grabbed these blank index cards and an eyeliner pencil as I couldn't find my pen (thanks to Sophia  who had been digging in my purse earlier...UGH).  I didn't want to miss one word that was so eloquently flowing from Wynonna's mouth.  When asked by Oprah what was the one thing that has helped her to get where she was today she responded, " I put myself back on the list." At that moment a light bulb went off and I had a V-8 moment & yes the hand hit the forehead when the lightbulb/v-8 moment occurred.

Which started me thinking had I, too, left myself off the list?  When did taking care of everyone else except me become acceptable?  Does this sound like you?  Do you have great things happening to you, but not enjoying any one of them?  Do you get complimented and think to yourself "wow" is that what they really see in me?  As to question the validity of their statement.  So sad, but that was my reality, before..... I got help.  And that is just what the Judd's had done.  Their therapist was even sitting in the audience.  TOO CUTE it was.  As soon as Momma Judd came onto stage she pointed him out, the camera zoomed in and he was a smiling and a observing as if to say...so far so good ladies.  Therapy and their fervent faith in God had gotten them to the place they were at that very moment.  I have to say it was beautiful, so very beautiful.  And yes those who know me well know I was practically crying throughout the whole interview.....not sad tears, but tears of me too, me too, yes, yes...me too!  I wasn't surprised when Naomi Judd stated that only 1% of America go to therapy.  Why is therapy looked upon as being a weakness, unacceptable, secretive, WHY? 

Have you forgotten to put yourself on the list?  You know "THE LIST!  The one that contains the names of those you love/care for with all your heart.  THAT LIST!  This according to Wynonna Judd is the reason for her struggles and unhappiness for a majority of her life.  She forgot to put herself on the LIST.  She has spent years being a success in public, but her private life has been in shambles.  When I heard her say that I was like WHOA, that was so raw, so real, and so deep.  I so admire people when people GET REAL and share intimate things about themselves in hopes that others will learn from their journey.   In fact, she commented that she once was asked, "why do you air all your dirty laundry?"  Her response was,  "I want to be a teacher."  Again, I was like ...OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, ...me too.  I think one of the greatest highs in life is when your experiences both good and bad positively effect others. But they can't until you first understand who you are and LOVE everything about you, (pimples and all).  For some that comes without thinking, but for many who have suffered some childhood trauma that can almost seem like an unrealistic expectation.   Until one digs into their past, faces their demons head on, and tells them whose boss he or she will never be able to truly love the imperfections that exist in each one of us. 

Who cares what others think about you seeing a therapist.  They don't live with your struggles, your sadness, your despair, your inability to focus or complete some of the simplest tasks.  They are talking about you because it is easier to talk about others woes than deal with their very own, sad but true.  So WHO CARES what others think.  Do what will make you happy and healthy.  Therapy gives you the tools to do just that.  Just ask the Judd's.  Their family is FINALLY able to communicate openly and lovingly.  I found myself writing and nodding throughout the whole Oprah show.  I could identify with so much of what they discussed and want to share with you some words of wisdom from the Judd's as they have been to hell and back.  Here is what they had to say:

1.  Be invitational instead of confrontational.
2.  Lean into the pain.
3.  The best revenge is living well.

One thing that really made me tear up was when Oprah would ask her a very personal question like how she felt about her ex-husband she would glance up to the sky as to ask guidance from her heavenly Father from above before answering.  She even went on to say when she was in her darkest hour she would wake up in the morning and say, "Oh God it's morning."  Now she says."Hi God, good morning!"  What a difference self-reflecting, therapy, faith, and practice makes in a person's ability to be happy.  Don't let your demons from the past sabotage your ability to share your love with those who depend on you and the example you lead.  Their life depends on yours and if yours is unhealthy then more than likely theirs will too.  You can make sure that NEVER happens. Put yourself back on the list, get help, get healthy, and be happy.  I know therapy works because for the first time in my 41 years I am learning who I am, what I stand for, and what it's like to truly love the person inside.  GET REAL! Xoxoxo